Kaddish for a Past Life

Kaddish for a Past Life

“Kaddish for the past,” she whispers to herself. 

The grass is green, the breeze warm and the dress. A simple light blue, ankle length piece of material that seems to own her. Her hair blowing about her face with no particular direction in mind.

She smiles as she looks down at her bare feet and wiggles her toes against the damp earth. Remembering the gentle thunderstorm from the night before, a blush creeps across her face and down her chest. They had made love gently in rhythm with the drops of rain on the wooden roof of the barn. Mother nature a fine conductor of her music.

Looking up she raises her hand to shield her vision from the bright sun. Blinking back tears she takes a deep breath in anticipation of what is about to come. Very soon her life will be intertwined with his. Two hearts into one. She is nervous, excited and scared.

What if she isn’t all that he had hoped for? What if everything before now, every moment spent together, was not real and this is where she would wake up and know her dreams were just that; dreams.

A hand gently caresses her left arm and fingers wrap softly around her forearm.

“He is there waiting for you. How handsome he is,” her best friend whispers, staring at the same spot in the distance, under the big oak tree.

She smiles, dipping her head again, remembering the loving words he had whispered last night. Looking to her  left she gazes into the beautiful eyes of her friend and nods.

“I know. He’s always been handsome. Gentle, kind, funny and smart. What if–“, she trails off.

Embracing her in a hug, her best friend smooths down her hair and stands back, holding her by the shoulders. “Stop.”

“But–what do I have to offer him? I’m not rich. No high standing in this world and certainly I am not a young and budding young woman anymore,” she almost cries out, her voice rising with fear.

Pointing her towards the oak tree and the smattering of people who stand waiting for her, her best friend forces her to focus on him. She can see him smiling even from this distance.

“You are offering him everything a man could ask for in a woman. Loyalty and truth. Love and friendship. A companionship to last a thousand lifetimes. I could think of nothing better he could ask for.”

She thought of this for a moment and raised her head higher. Felt the invisible crown straighten itself on her head.

A Queen about to be united with her King.

Suddenly with timid footsteps, each one becoming more sure of itself, she gripped her friends hand and squeezed.

“You are giving him the truest gift of all. Be calm and sure of yourself because he is sure of you.”


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