The temperature is dropping around the Country and Fall is in the air.
Many people are lamenting over the fact that in a couple of months leaves will fall, the morning air will become saturated with the smell of distant snow and kids will require jackets for outings.
I’m not sad though. Oh no I’m not aching for summertime to hang around like an obsessed lover who can’t get enough of me. That hateful sun that burns holes into my soul with it’s incessant heat and unwavering rays of happiness, it can go!
I long for the dark mornings and early evenings. I pine for the shadows of Winter. In my mind I envision myself kneeling down in front of Jack Frost like a submissive slave and beg for the days of cold bitter wind. Urging the winds to not only caress my face, biting my cheeks like a hungry child, but for them to drag their fingertips across my soul.
Even though I suffer from bipolar and depression, I carry an unlikely fondness for the days that normally keep others in a perpetual state of sadness. During a time when most are crossing the days off the calendar until Spring, I am happy.
It almost feels repulsive to know that I beg Old Man Winter to stay in my bed. Come. Sleep with me. Lie down a little bit longer friend. Wrap your spindly arms and legs around mine and draw me closer. Gently suck the warmth from my heart and feel me shiver.
I will walk outside after the first snowfall with a lowered head and eyes closed in humbleness. A smile will begin somewhere deep within my bowels and icily spread throughout my body until the tips of my fingers and toes are numb.
That is when I know that I have given my being over to the frigidness of my seasonal lover. It has been so long since we last saw each other. Bring me happiness again my beloved. Take what is yours.
For during the Winter is when I feel whole. Myself. Cold and bleak like my mood nine months out of the year. You, my sweetheart, have brought me back to life again.