It’s Possible I Don’t Want to be Brave

It’s Possible I Don’t Want to be Brave

If you’ve been following me on any type of social media then you know my son has surgery coming up.

I’d like to point out that yes I know kids go through surgery every day and it’s quite possible that your child has gone through at least one, if not several. Perhaps even days after they were born.

Your child is not my child.

 

It’s a hard time for me as a mother right now. Let’s forget about the fact that he will officially be a Senior beginning tomorrow morning. Forget about the fact that he will be turning 18 in approximately three weeks. Let it slip from all of our minds that he is moving on in life and I’m sitting here in my little nest watching him teeter on the edge of the dried up twigs, leaves, and whatever else I’ve managed to fashion our “home” out of since 1997.

Despite whatever your son or daughter has been through, this is my battle to face now. It’s my turn to whimper, cry and pant over all the possible complications and new things that life brings him.

This is my last chance to actually demand that he do as I say.

The moment the birthday calendar rolls over to September 11th, he is his own man. I can only hope that I have done enough to prepare him for what lies ahead. It’s a scary world out there.

Everyone has well meaning comments and words of perceived comfort for me about letting him go:

  • “He’ll be fine momma bear. My daughter had surgery at two days old!”
  • “You worry too much. Just pray.”
  • “You’re a nurse. You should know how easy and uncomplicated surgery is these days!”
  • “You’ve had your own surgeries, so what’s the big deal? You did fine.”
  • “Lol! Oh momma you’re just doing what momma’s do best. Worrying. It’ll be fine.”

Lest I forget the best comment of all. The one where another mother relives every single thing her child(ren) have been through and how everybody lived happily ever after. That’s usually a long 500 word comment in itself.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate all the well wishes. I want to hear how things are going to be alright. If I didn’t I wouldn’t put my feelings out there for the world to see.

Truth is though, I’m different than you. It gets tiring to keep up a strong persona for the world. I’m already having to do this for my son.

He’s different than your offspring and it’s quite possible that maybe I just don’t want to be brave.

Sometimes a little heart emoji or a virtual hug may be all I’m looking for.

 

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Stop by and contribute your own Sunday Confession with More Than Cheese and Beer! Today’s writing prompt was the word: PANT

 

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