My son is approaching 18 this year. He’s funny as hell, but of course he doesn’t say cute things anymore like, “Mommy come wipe my butt,” or “Mommy! I went pee-pee!”
I digress. He actually has said these things but in an annoying, sarcastic look-at-me-I’m-funny-and-embarrassing-my-mom way when around his friends. What he doesn’t know is I’m not easily embarrassed. I’m excited he adopted my sarcastic attitude towards life and its comical day to-day happenings. It’s perhaps the only thing that will save him from hating life in the end.
I have a lot of blogger friends. Most of them are “mommy” bloggers, meaning that they blog about their young children and their never-ending hilarious antics. I like that, although sometimes I feel left out because the things my son says and does now happen in such rapid fire succession that for me to blog about each day with him, I’d actually have to start a Vlog and I’m NOT putting myself on camera on YouTube. I’d have to constantly follow him with my camera video-ing and then subsequently uploading gazillions of MB to the internet for anyone to get the full effect.
Last week, a good friend of mine who is also a blogger wrote a piece titled, “I’m Sorry, I Can’t Be Your Friend”
(Psst… you can find her blog here: www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com )
It’s a great piece about how she can’t socially interact with others right now because of various reasons. Not able to handle “peopling” right now, being tired on a consistent basis and also her kids/family being numero Uno in life right now.
Having a family does that to you. Kids do that to you. Especially young ones. Even more so if you have multiple children. Reading her piece I had to laugh and smile as it took me back to when my son was little and how much energy I put out being a social butterfly and yeah maybe it was easier for me because I only had one kid. I have to admit that when my son hit 13 years-old, life became more quiet so to speak. He wasn’t overly dramatic anymore. He was too busy trying to figure out why his body was changing. Where was all that hair coming from? Why was it there? Why am I suddenly taller than both of my parents? Oh yeah and there was the divorce he was enduring.
I had that time period where I could socialize a little at a time again. He was old enough to leave at home alone with maybe a friend or two. I could confidently go out for a couple of hours for dinner with a friend myself and not worry too much. (I lie. I worried a lot, but damn it! I was going to enjoy my adult time!)
Then he hit 15 years-old and started driving, I found no more time for friends. I found that by the end of the day, between work and home life with a budding teenager, I had NO energy whatsoever and what little sanity I had left had to be saved like rollover minutes for the next day.
So when I read her post, I thought, “Hey! Don’t think you have the market cornered on not peopling! You don’t get to say you’re the only one who has dropped “friends” into acquaintance status!” Believe me when I say I have been known to ignore my phone because I just DON’T. WANT. TO. HEAR. ABOUT. YOUR. DAY.
Wanna know what I’ve been busy doing? Why I could care less more and more every day about still being friends with people who don’t care about me either?
1. I’m too busy worrying about what my son is doing every minute of his waking day. Is he getting to school on time? Did he get there safely? I swear that every time I’m sitting at work and I hear sirens, I softly question if he’s OK. I may have even, in the beginning when he started driving, texted him and asked him if he’s OK. I have looked closely at Facebook news posts about car accidents to see if I recognize any vehicles. Especially if it’s in the vicinity of his school or his dads house. Morbid? Maybe. Too worrisome? Yep. I don’t care though. Any parent that tells me they haven’t freaked out knowing their kid is out there among hundreds of careless drivers is lying. Lying liar pants. Your pants should be on fire. I also worry if he’s getting along with others at school. Did he get his homework done? Did he get a restful nights sleep? Is he being bullied? You get the point. I worry.
2. I work A LOT of hours. Yes I work to pay my bills and have food in our bellies but there are teenager emergencies that come up. Often. My son plays a lot of basketball. He is always needing new shoes or new under armour or a trip to sports medicine to have a sore knee checked out. He also goes to coffee shops to do homework. With a girl. That’s a whole other story in itself. Another reason I don’t want anything to do with you right now. I leave for work before the sun comes up and get home after the sun has gone down. Even if the sun was still out, I’d still be tired from working. I just want to sleep, but I can’t.
3. I stay awake at night worrying about what is going to happen if my son gets married and I don’t like my in-laws. Yes. This is even ridiculous to me, but let me explain. I’m at that point in life where my son is dating and I finally met his first girlfriend. He says she isn’t his girlfriend and maybe that’s true but once he took her out to dinner at a nice Mexican restaurant on my dime (see number 2) and brought her by the house afterwards. I was terribly afraid. I mean she seems really nice. She’s beautiful and was wearing a dress and he was all dressed up and his truck smelled like cologne and teenage hormones and well yeah. Now he’s getting married in my worried mind. I know she may be the first in a long line of girls and eventually women that he finds and goes out with to dinner and GOD-FORBID has a sexual relationship with, BUT…what if she’s not? I can’t spend time with you because I’m too tired from staying awake all night planning weddings and thinking of how I’m going to hide my flask of whiskey at family get togethers later on and how I’m going to explode when he gets his heart broke if it doesn’t work out. Besides I’m all tatted up and I’m pretty sure her parent’s aren’t and what if they don’t like me??? The struggle is real.
4. I’m single and don’t really care about your latest fight and/or hearing about how last week your boy/girlfriend was a douche but this week they are “da bomb”. Ok so I’m not exactly single, but I am in a relaxed relationship where we don’t live together or put heavy expectations on each other. I have no plans to be with anyone else romantically either, well because I can barely keep this guy interested much less entertain another one! I’ve got too much to worry about. Weddings to plan. Work. Work. Work. I’m also almost 20 years out of high school and that drama crap is way in the past. I don’t want a friend who only calls or texts me when she/he’s down because someone became a spokesperson for Summer’s Eve. If I even had the time, that’s not really a friend anyway. So no. Go away.
5. I am trying to fulfill my dream of being a published author and right now the closest I am getting to that is being a blogger which is fine with me. I write. When I’m not sleeping, worrying or working, I’m writing. If I’m on the toilet peeing, I’m making little notes on a post-it about how it feels to pee because that might lead into a new blog piece later on when coupled with the notes I made about my 4-minute lunch earlier. Anything and everything becomes an idea for a blog piece. So even if we did hang out, I wouldn’t be listening because I’m too busying concocting the next piece of writing in my already crowded brain. Before you say it, I can’t write about you though. You would just get butthurt if I shared about you and me and our non-existent friendship. Who knows, maybe you’re reading this now and you ARE butthurt. Oh well. It’s a good thing we aren’t friends, huh?
So in conclusion, my friend, the Angrivated Mom wrote that she would see everyone on her 4th child’s graduation day. I don’t know but I think after she reads this, she might just realize that it’s never going to happen. I think once you have kids you are forever too busy for anything. Or you just drink until you can find that 5 minutes of peace in your life. By the way, moms drink wine. Lots of wine. And whiskey. And vodka. All the alcohol.