Face Eating Grasshopper


So after driving to run errands I stopped to get a snowcone. I’m pulling away when I see my biggest fear staring me in the eyes! A black, face eating, killer grasshopper!

I immediately pulled over into the nearest parking lot, slowly…well kinda quick, but VERY non- confrontational, got out of my truck. This thing kept coming at me! I proceeded to whine and stomp my feet with some “Eeeews”, and puking noises, when this nice elderly man came over to see what was wrong.

My Angel: What’s wrong sweetie?”
Me: “There’s a grasshopper on my dash! Can you help me!?”
My Angel: (Laughing kindly) “Oh that little thing isn’t going to eat much!”

Seeee. Even HE knew it was hungry!

He grabs it and gently places the demon spawn on the ground. At this point he eyes the wiggling brown bag in my passenger seat.

My Angel: “What’s in the bag?”
Me: “Oh that? It’s just a rat for my snake at home.”

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